hawaii

About a decade ago Ayelet Waldman wrote “Motherlove” – a controversial essay that ignited a firestorm and outraged those in the parenting community. The piece (reprinted in the New York Times column “Modern Love”) explored the nature of intimate spousal relationships and set forth a simple premise, one that was hard for some to digest. Waldman wrote that her children were not the center of her world, that “they were satellites, beloved but tangential.” That was the controversial part. Though Waldman proclaimed her love for her four children, she said “if you focus all of your emotional passion on your children and you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence... eventually, things can go really, really wrong.”

Now don’t worry, things aren’t dire on this end, but I have been thinking a lot about how to balance life’s demands, which include work, marriage and motherhood. I don’t agree with all of Waldman’s points (Otis and Theo, you’re not satellites to me!), but there are parts of her essay that resonated with me. I agree with the idea that marriages need nurturing, and in our fast-paced world, quality time can be elusive.

Raising children has lots of rewards, but it can also be exhausting. I love my boys dearly, but by the end of the day I’m spent and it seems like the only thing I have energy for is scrolling through Pinterest (or some other activity that doesn’t require a lot of brain power). Once I pick those little energized bunnies up from school there’s cooking to do, books to read, baths to take, lots of cleaning (I’m very particular), laundry to be folded, and I’ve got to identify and remove the foul and mysterious odors emanating from the car. By the time everything is done it’s about 10 p.m. and I’ve got very little gas left in the tank, no pun intended.

Look, this is part of the life I wanted and it’s what I signed up for. However, I have come to recognize the need to reorganize things a bit and shift priorities a little. I definitely need more quality time with my husband. It’s sometimes hard to carve out the hours needed to reconnect and remind us why we decided to couple in the first place. But where’s there’s a will, there’s a way!

With that in mind….

You can probably imagine how excited I was to be surprised by a childfree trip to Hawaii!!!  It came at a welcome time AND it coincided with my 40^th birthday.

Matt worked hard to put the entire vacation together. He “cashed in” thousands of hotel points and miles, snagged rooms at fantastic hotels (relaxation!) and secured a coveted reservation for a cabin inside Halaekala’s crater (adventure!). He coordinated with his parents (who flew across the country) and they provided kid-coverage while we were gone. He arranged our free flights, including first class tickets for the trans-Pacific leg of our trip (unlimited mimosas!), and he did it all without my knowledge. Well, until I spotted a hotel reservation in my inbox. Whoops! (It happened because he used some of my miles too.)

So what can I say about our adventure?

It was spectacular. We relaxed and we connected. We found off-the-beaten-path spots and ate incredible food. I had a fabulous birthday dinner and we went whale watching. We drove the Road to Hana in a jeep (roof down!) and we drank our body weight in Tangelo juice.

But perhaps my favorite part of the trip was the three days we spent hiking inside Haleakala’s crater-- off the grid, without cell service, computers, or distractions. I couldn’t get over how quiet it was and at times we felt like we were the only ones there, though we did come across a couple of Nene birds and some Hawaiian cowboys (see below). We took in the beauty of Hawaii’s black sand dunes and pink volcanic cones. And we hiked out of the crater under the moonlight in order to catch sunrise peaking above the clouds, something on my bucket list which I had always wanted to do. The trip was restorative and adventurous. We felt intrepid and connected. Now I just have to figure out how to incorporate those things into our day-to-day, because one can’t live life on vacation J

Here’s to a well-balanced life!

xx,

Batya

Food:

walking rino: street art with theo

I’ve got two little wildlings, Otis and Theo. We spend a lot of quality time together as a group, but it’s incredibly rare that I get to have one-on-one time with either one of them. So the other day, upon realizing that Otis had class and Theo’s school was closed, I decided to take Theo on a special adventure-- just the two of us. I toyed with the idea of journeying up to the mountains for a hike near Kenosha Pass, but then decided it would be fun to stay in the city and put on our explorer caps since we have plans to see fall foliage for the next three weekends…

Of course I had to seize the moment and catch up on some overdue appointments too, so before we took off on our local adventure, I took Theo to the doctor for a wellness check-up. In hindsight that might not have been the best way to start off our special day, for it was temporarily marred by the 4-year-old vaccination schedule. But eventually he stopped crying, and the experience led us to have an interesting conversation about viruses. It also helped us choose our word of the day: “antibodies.”

As a reward for displaying courage and good behavior (all things considered), I treated Theo to a chocolate croissant. He was amazed by its construction and started yelling, “There’s a real live chocolate bar right in the very middle of my treat? It’s real live!! Isn’t that amazing, mommy?” Oh that Theo. He’s got “a million sweet tooths” and is truly a little boy after my own heart. Not wanting to leave the coffee shop without something savory, I grabbed two spinach empandas before we set out in the direction of the RiNo Arts District…

Now I’ve blogged about the ever-changing RiNo before. It’s a neighborhood that houses some of Denver’s best restaurants, bars and coffee shops. It’s also the epicenter of the city’s best street art, and there’s lots of it. The new murals are spectacularly detailed and there brand new pieces thanks to #COCrush15 which took place last weekend. Some of my RiNo favorites include works from artists Mariano Padillo, Jaime Molina, Mike Martinez, Hollis & Lana, David Shillinglaw, Scott Albrecht, Hyland Mather, Mike Graves, Blaine Fontana, Robin Munro, Sandra Fettingis, Jake Mertens, Lolo YS, Jeremy Burns and Max Kauffman*…just to name a few.  

(*As I was about to enter Max’s art house I noticed that Theo was starting to get sleepy, so I’ll be back to check it out next week.)

I’ve always been a big fan of street art, but it wasn’t until my friend Risa and I had a conversation about its larger importance that I fully began to understand how beneficial and inspirational it is. You see, I’ve always appreciated street murals from a beautification angle; they provide design, color, and art to a wall that would normally be vacant or plastered with tacky advertisements.

But street art also holds a second (more important) purpose. Namely, it makes art accessible to everyone: to parents with work schedules that are incompatible with museum hours; to children who don’t have easy access to art or transportation; to neighborhoods that are often underserved when it comes to public investments. In short, street art can inspire a creative force in almost anyone, regardless of income.

It also makes for a really great one-on-one adventure….

Enjoy!

xx,

Batya

 

 

For more info, check out this column and this column by Lindsey Bartlett.

Overheard Theoisms:

“Those guys have coffee bean heads. That’s silly, so very silly.”

“…and then these octopuses were fighting bad guys- the Storm Troopers- before they were beamed back up to space. Yes, that’s what it’s about…”

“Hey, why is that man walking a fish with a dog’s leash? That’s hilarious.”

“Mommy, do you think we can keep a pet giraffe in our garage?”

“I’m going to show them my sword of justice. Then they will know I’m a superhero.”

“These leaves look pretty, but they’re not real. At least they don’t look real to me.”

“Torchic (Pokemon doll) told me this was the best tour ever. Hey, Torchic sounds like tour.”

“Is this where the natural gas comes from? I want to see it.”

“That silly monkey is playing games with me. He’s a funny guy.”

"Please can I go in here? (Closed Populist garden) I promise not to trespass."

modern monday: concrete + cement

Concrete (that durable composite material made from a mixture of broken stone or gravel, sand, cement, and water) and cement (the main ingredient in concrete) have been popping up everywhere in the design world...from lighting to tiling to jewelry, and even inspired wallpaper.

Recently I won a fiberglass-reinforced concrete Kreten Candelabra from Souda (thanks Instagram contest!). It's a strong statement piece which sits on the mantle in our living room, and it provides a nice contrast from my other tabletop and décor objects, which tend to be softer and lighter. The Kreten is always a topic of conversation, so naturally it sparked a new interest in concrete.

Here are some designs I’m really fond of right now. Got any favorites? Feel free to share them.

Happy modern Monday!

xx,

Batya

Top Row (L to R):

Kreten Candelabra from Souda 

Concrete Earrings from Konzuk Shop 

Concrete Lighting Round-Up via Blood + Champagne

Middle Row (L to R):

Rainbow Shades from Julien Renault Objects 

Edgy Tiles from Kaza Concrete  

100% Sand from Anabella Vivas

Bottom Row (L to R):

Vases from Seung Yong Song 
JWDA Concrete Lamp designed by Jonas Wagell for Menu 

Cement Ceramics by Studio Twocan via The Design Files 

berry patch farms + ina's zucchini vichyssoise

“I sincerely believe that for the child, and for the parent seeking to guide him, it is not half so important to know as to feel when introducing a young child to the natural world. If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow. The years of early childhood are the time to prepare the soil.”  -Rachel Carson, A Sense of Wonder

On Tuesday, Otis and his kindergarten class took their first field trip together, and since I’m all about outings and adventures I signed up to be one of the parent chaperones. The destination was BerryPatch Farms located in Brighton, Colorado, about 25 minutes from Denver…

We’re no strangers to this amazing organic farm. It’s where we pick cherries and raspberries every season. And in addition to “u-pick” options, the farm provides the most spectacular and unobstructed views of the Front Range. (You can see mountains for miles and miles and miles!) 

There are animals on the farm, including chickens, turkeys, goats and a donkey. Two porcine friends also call the farm home, one with the lamentable name “Bacon Bits” (but don’t worry, she won’t be eaten) and another named Heidi. The kids toured the farm by tractor, strung necklaces made of yarn, beads and clay, picked pumpkins, and watched a film about bees and the importance of these natural pollinators. The outing wrapped up with a picnic lunch, which for me meant pumpkin bread with chocolate chunks (delicious!). 

The field trip with Otis's class reminded me of the visit Theo and I took to the farm a few months back, around the second week of September when his school was closed for one of the many (many) Jewish holidays. We cut flowers, shopped at the farm stand and shortly thereafter Theo proclaimed, “Today I will pick berries and not boogers.” 

Speaking of picking (sorry), I scooped up tomatoes, herbs, zucchini and a variety of other fall squash. I sautéed the zucchini in olive oil for a simple side dish, but the vast majority of them went into Ina Garten’s Zucchini Vichyssoise, which I modified only slightly (recipe below). We made pots and pots of it and can’t wait for next summer/fall to make more.

Enjoy!

xx,

Batya

** PS:  I chose not to share photos from Otis's class trip because he's in public school and I'm only beginning to acquaint myself with the families from our classroom. I thought it would be best (and wise) not to include images of children I don't know that well (and without parental consent). That said, Theo said he's fine with sharing :) 

Zucchini Vichyssoise

Modified only slightly from this Ina Garten recipe

Serves 5-6

1 tablespoon unsalted butter (to make it vegan, omit butter and add 1 extra tablespoon of e.v.o.o)

1 tablespoon good olive oil

5 cups chopped leeks, white and light green parts (4 to 6 large leeks)

4 cups chopped unpeeled white boiling potatoes (6-8 small)

2 large zucchini, chopped

1-1/2 quarts homemade vegetable stock or good quality store-bought (canned).

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

2 tablespoons heavy cream (to make it vegan, omit the cream)

Fresh chives or julienned zucchini, for garnish

Heat the butter and oil in a large stockpot, add the leeks, and sauté over medium-low heat for 5 minutes. Add the potatoes, zucchini, chicken stock, salt, and pepper; bring to a boil; then lower the heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Cool for a few minutes and then process through a food mill fitted with the medium disc. Add the cream and season to taste. Serve either cold or hot, garnished with chopped chives and/or zucchini ribbons.

steamboat springs (the aspen show)

When I was growing up, my favorite tree was a Japanese Maple in my parents’ backyard. Every September the tree put on a show and its leaves would turn the most brilliant shade of red before they fell to the ground. Some people lament the end of summer and view fall as a harbinger of the cold winter to come. But I love the cycle of the seasons and see September and October as a time for renewal and introspection, which might not be such a coincidence since I grew up in a household that took Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur (the Jewish New Year and Day of Atonement) very seriously.

In Denver, the day time temperatures have been really warm (maybe even a bit unseasonal) but the nights have already turned cool. It’s sit-on-the-porch-and-watch-the-stars-while-drinking-a-glass-of-red-wine sort of weather. And as much as I love fall in the city, it’s up in the mountains where the season really shines. Groves of Quaking Aspens have started to turn their bright yellow, gold and orange hues. The colonies look like streaks going down the mountain and lend a shock of color to an otherwise green pine backdrop… basically, it’s an arborist's dream.

Last weekend, while my husband was celebrating his 40th birthday out-of-town with a group of childhood friends (all of whom are reaching the milestone this year), I took the boys on what I hope will become an annual pilgrimage to Steamboat Springs. I’ve been feeling more intrepid, adventurous and confident as a mother, so I didn’t think twice about taking this solo-parenting vacation. Severe temper tantrums are becoming a thing of the past, which means my nerves are less shot and I’m better able to deal with minor behavior issues. On this trip, thankfully, there were none.

We hiked for hours around Fish Creek Falls, drove down the most bucolic country roads, soaked in the hot mineral springs at Strawberry Park ($10 adult/ $5 kids) and even dined out...

A friend of mine calls this phase—one where your children are no longer babies, no longer depend on you for every function and are able to keep their emotions in check—as being “out of the woods.” And I truly feel like we’ve overcome some of the hardest challenges of raising children for the past few years.

The trip to the mountains was restorative. 

I found myself thinking about the Japanese Maple tree in the yard of my childhood home, and within a few minutes of hiking through the Aspens, Otis turned to me and said, “I think we should plant a few of these in our front yard.” I totally agreed.

Wishing you wonderful autumn adventures,

xx, 

Batya